A divorce can be a trying time for you and your former spouse. It's already a sad and hurtful time, but it's even worse considering that during divorce hearings, information may come to light that is difficult to hear. However, it's important to remain mature, civil, and respectful. According to psychologist Susan Quilliam, "Dignity is our best friend in a crisis because it reminds us that, although we may be at the mercy of uncertain circumstances, we can at least be in control of ourselves." Consider these tips to help navigate through your divorce with dignity.
- Consider Your Ex Your Equal - This may be the toughest tip to remember and implement, but it will be the most worthwhile if you are able to do so. Your ex is just as much of a human being as you are, with their own wants, needs, and concerns. This process is not easy on them either. Reminding yourself that you are not superior to them will make the divorce proceedings easier for everyone to handle. It's also reasonable to expect the same in return. If you feel as though you have been treated in an inferior way, try communicating this with your ex so that the rest of the divorce proceedings can continue civilly. You should be fair and have reasonable expectations throughout the process.
- Trust Your Legal Team - You should be up front with your lawyers and tell them what you expect to receive through the divorce. After that, you should trust them to do their jobs, knowing that they are working to protect your best interests. Allowing the legal teams to handle many issues can reduce the time required to communicate with your ex, thereby reducing tension and stress.
- Avoid Overindulging on Food and Alcohol - Comfort food and alcohol will only provide temporary relief to your problems, and will lead to a host of health problems. USC neuropsychology professor Dr. Fernando Gomez-Pinilla says "Food is like pharmaceutical compound that affects the brain. The more balanced you make your meals, the more balanced your brain will be when functioning."
- Avoid Social Media - To put it simply, your divorce should be private. It's not the proudest of moments for either you or your ex. You should not reveal personal details about the divorce on social media, nor should you air our any dirty laundry. There's a good chance that you and your ex still have mutual friends in common, and your ex will certainly find out about what you post. Not only does this put your mutual friends in an awkward position, but it could jeopardize your standing in some aspects of the divorce.
- Don't Jump Back into Dating Too Soon - Although it may be tempting to immediately begin dating again, you should try to avoid dating until your divorce is finalized. Bringing closure to your previous marriage and finding time to heal will not only help you emotionally, but will also reduce the possibility of unwelcomed distractions or drama during your divorce.